In January, I stopped posting on my blog.
This was around the time I lost my very new job, and couldn’t find a new one.
I’ve always been a fairly strong person emotionally when it comes to life’s obstacles, However this year so far, broke me.
I suppose there are a lot of worse things out there, and much more I could be going through, but a person’s battles are their own, no matter how small. It’s hard enough to get a job in the market right now anyway, let alone someone (no matter how much experience) without a degree with their name on it.
I must have applied to over 150 jobs in the past year. Out of those I only had a handful of interviews and each one of them had a defining moment where the light disappeared from their eyes when the question “what have you done so far” came up, and I had no mention of Uni.
I’m not ashamed of my choice to not go to Uni when I could have, I stick by my choice to take the path less taken and see what monsters are lurking down there. But as proud as I am of my choice, It still doesn’t take away the emotional pain I have from not being “good enough”.
That’s why I stopped posting. I would wake up every morning (or afternoon since I had no job) and stare at my computer screen, not because I had no inspiration or content to write, but because no matter how long I stared at the blank document, I was always thinking “what’s the point?”.
But, now I see what the point is. The point is that no matter if only one person sees that blog post, it might, just might make their day that little bit better. Might give them the hope that even if their taste in books is a little cliche, someone else out there enjoys them too. The point is that it might not help me with job applications or future endeavors, but I am doing it for myself, for my pleasure and enjoyment (as well as yours).
My message is, don’t give up on yourself. Don’t throw things away when you will regret it in the long run. I regret not posting for so long, but I needed some time to myself to get my head around my life, to figure out my next path. Who knows, maybe I will go to Uni next year, maybe I’ll do a night course, maybe I’ll finally learn to drive and get a tattoo and go on a holiday on a whim. No matter what I will make sure I don’t lose sight again of what is important……me.
Thank you for reading, have a great day!
Remember, you’re always allowed to be a little bit selfish.
Photo credit: Disney Pixar